Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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