Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
bring money and cleavage
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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