Dual....:-)
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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