I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
