Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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