what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
