Where are you?
In a non slutty way
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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