i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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