my phone needs a breathalizer
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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