your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
