You're my little dorito
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
