Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
