i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Randomize
