Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize