Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
