im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
