I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
