could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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