Don't you send me to vm
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
