Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
