I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
