Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
