I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
