I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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