why didn't you poke me back
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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