READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
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