4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
