i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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