i just had sex bonerless
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
