You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
