Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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