Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
