How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
