Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
