Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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