Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
