Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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