there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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