he wants to bone in the snuggie
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Mom said you looked used
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
