So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
