yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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