Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you traded sex for a burrito?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
