The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
