Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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