I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
