i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
