After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
