Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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