i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
