so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
im holly from the hills drunk
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
