don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
